superrawr funtimes

Do Not Cry

July 07, 2018

I saw this article regarding The Onion firings and became a little panicked at the thought of The Onion going out of business. Turns out it is only 15% of their staff. Regardless, here are some of my favorite clips from them:

Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison’s Rigid Routine

Missing Teen’s Friends Go On TV To Plead For Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates

Man Attempts To Assassinate Obama, ‘But Not Because He’s Black Or Anything’

Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult

Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work

And of course, my favorite: Ocular Penetration Restriction Act of 2007